Every workplace has its share of public beef, ungraceful exits, and unspoken rules, but believe me when I tell you that anything within six degrees of social media is, as they say in perfume speak, nuclear. You—regardless of the strength of your gossip radar—will smell that something’s up from a mile away. And when you rise through the ranks? That’s when you know these “scandals” are inescapable.
So what do you do when it happens to you? Do you throw etiquette out the window or do you go high when they go low? Scroll down and thank me later.
What do you do when someone you work with betrays you?
Before anything else, let’s define what “betrayal” is. It is deliberately violating a person’s trust or not honoring a mutual understanding. It is NOT betrayal when the other person does not meet your unspoken expectations. Admittedly, these definitions aren’t black and white. An employee or teammate may betray you for valid reasons, like putting themselves first. In such a case, you may need to find it in your heart to understand why they did it.
In the event of an actual betrayal, do not—I repeat—go crying on Instagram Live. Resist the urge to air out dirty laundry just because you need validation. Instead, try to handle things with grace. Mind your own business. Get on with your job. When the time is right, talk to the traitor and escalate with caution. But until then, let them be.
How do you leave a room you don’t want to be in?
Too often in life, we find ourselves in “rooms” that we, at some point, will want to exit. It may be a workplace you’ve considered your second home, a conversation making you uncomfortable, or a party that’s no longer fun. How do you leave without offending people? What constitutes a proper exit from any room?
First, get your affairs in order. Make sure you’ve covered everything you’re responsible for—never leave people to clean up after you. Next, take it up with people who matter. You don’t need to broadcast your exit like people who say, “Unfollow!” However, you do need to inform a few people: your boss, your team, your successor… and whoever invited you to the party. Finally, when asked about why you left, keep the details to yourself and offer a diplomatic response, like, “It was time to leave,” or “My dog was waiting for me!”
Should you try to work with somebody who has had a less-than-graceful exit?
Why not? Their beef is theirs alone. However, just know that this beef will inevitably follow you around for as long as this person is working with you (or until the other party and busybodies forget).
Before hiring someone who has had a difficult break with their former employer, make it clear to them that you know what happened and that you don’t intend to be involved. This may keep them on their toes and make them want to prove themselves—as they should. And while you’re not obligated to ask “permission” from their ex-boss, do send them a message to acknowledge the situation. They’ll respect you for it.
Finally, do not, under any circumstance, allow your new hire to use confidential information, contacts, and trade strategies that they’ve acquired from their previous employer. If I must spell it out: That is unethical. You don’t want any of that on your hands (or in the comments section!).
Last but not least, is it ever okay to burn a bridge?
Burning bridges is said to be detrimental to one’s career. Generally, you don’t want to be the person who fights and chooses to never reconcile with everybody. However, sometimes it may be the only way out of a toxic work relationship with an unprofessional colleague, a disrespectful employee, or a cruel superior. In such cases, you may need to burn a bridge for your peace of mind.
That said, try not to leave a trail of casualties as you walk out the door. If you must cut ties with people, do so privately if they’re agreeable. Otherwise, stop engaging with them altogether without being hostile. Remember to exit situations that no longer serve you with your mascara intact and your head held high, there’s simply no other way.
Always rooting for you from the sidelines,
Your Stunning Satire Specialist
