“Are these natural curls?” asked the hairdresser, gingerly touching my hair as she prepped me for a haircut. I nodded, and she smiled. “Beautiful!”
It’s a genuine and kind compliment, one that most curly-haired girls get these days. But as every one of us knows, this was not the same sentiment that was showered on us when we were growing up.
The fact that people today ask us curly girls if our hair is “natural” belies the commonly held belief that curls are not. Curls are made with rollers and blowdryers, mousse, and hairspray. They are created for weddings, prom nights, Santa Cruzans, and other special occasions.
But when seen and spotted in daily life, curls seemed absolutely wrong. How could they be normal, when every shampoo commercial and billboard showed and promised stick-straight hair, and every leading lady on TV caught the leading man’s eye with a gentle, coy, feminine flip of her flawlessly straight hair?
Straight hair was considered the only standard, so most girls didn’t even realize there was another hair type. “I never knew I had curly hair,” admits Kim, a wavy-haired sales manager and full-time mom who only embraced her lush hair late in her mid-30s. “All I knew was that I had messy, unruly, frizzy, always tangled hair that I needed to tie up.” We were always berated for our “unkempt” locks and were asked to tame them with water, gel, and ponytails.
“‘Rebonded’ and ‘relaxed’ hair were all the rage in my preteen years,” recalls Nikki, a head of marketing operations in Southeast Asia. Every single hairdresser she visited would immediately ask to “straighten my hair.” Many (if not all) curly girls would start getting rebonded in their early teens and would continue doing so for many years. Every person was encouraged—nay, compelled and forced to eliminate the curls.
The Curls Revolution
But you can never keep curls down, and it was only a matter of time before they began unfurling, begging to be released in their full, glorious beauty. Slowly, more waves and curls appeared in magazines, movies, and media. Through research, we stumbled upon books, brands, and Internet forums talking about how to take care of curls. Social media brought us closer to fellow curlies around the world, and we found inspiration and encouragement in each other.
Everyone remembers their turning point, the moment they discovered their hair’s true power and curly character. For some, it took a major breakup and the audacity to try a new look. For Kim, it took her daughter’s heartbreaking declaration: “She said she was ugly because her hair was curly,” Kim shares. “When I said that her hair was beautiful, she asked me why I straightened mine.” After straightening her own hair for a decade, Kim knew it was time to stop.
Others were lucky to encounter a skilled hairdresser who saw the potential under the chemically straightened hair, and asked, “Why don’t we keep it curly?” Giving us a big chop and arming us with tips on how to (properly!) manage our hair, they helped us finally discover the beautiful bounce and sexy spirals that had been there all along. “I remember, I could not stop looking at myself after coming out of her salon for days because I loved my look so much,” says Nikki.
“When I first saw myself in the mirror with curls, I cried,” says Paula, a country manager with voluminous curls. “It was like seeing myself for the first time. It was very liberating just to be.”
The New Age of Curls
For a lot of us curly girls, the most empowering thing in the journey was learning about how to take care of our curls. “I learned that a large part of what made my hair unruly was lack of knowledge about proper care,” says Paula. Most Filipinas are taught to shampoo, condition, dry with a towel or a hair dryer, and comb and brush ad infinitum. But that simply doesn’t work for curly hair, and once we realize that, it unlocked so many possibilities. It wasn’t our hair that was the problem, but the way we had been managing it.
The Curly Girl Method (lovingly nicknamed CGM), created by curl expert Lorraine Massey, gained popularity in 2010 for allowing curls to be healthy and well-defined by removing harmful ingredients and methods from your regimen. The Internet soon helped spread the word about this method and showed women a new way to take care of curly hair. There are also a myriad of groups (like Curly Girl Philippines on Facebook), websites, and even Reels and TikToks that share information and affirmation.
Thankfully, hairdressers all over the world have also learned to give curly girls special cuts (from dry cuts to curl-by-curl cuts), skip blowdrying, and scrunch products to encourage natural curls.
From having zero curly products on the shelf, we suddenly have a wealth of information at our fingertips, and honestly, it can be a little overwhelming at first. But as long as we focus on the essential principles that keep our curls happy, nourished, and healthy, we can find joy and fulfillment in embracing our hair.
RULE NUMBER ONE: Avoid dryness.
The most basic, essential piece of information is that curly hair is much drier than straight hair. Just as a car would have more trouble traveling down a zigzag road versus a straight one, our hair’s natural oils are unable to coat a curly strand all the way because of its natural twists and turns. Without these oils, our hair is more brittle and prone to breakage and damage. That’s why a huge part of curly hair care is making up for the moisture it should be getting.
The most obvious and quickest solution is to stop using shampoo. This sounds unthinkable to most bath-happy Filipinos who take a bath at least once a day, but most shampoos contain sulfates, chemical cleaning agents that are also found in detergent and dishwashing liquid. If you look at the ingredient list of most shampoos, you’ll typically find chemicals with “sulfate” in their name, like sodium lauryl sulfate. While these do get rid of oil and dirt on your scalp, they also strip your hair of essential moisture that your hair needs.
Instead, curly girls can benefit from finding a gentler, sulfate-free cleanser. Depending on your hair’s need, you can skip the shampoo or switch it to something less harsh, like using sulfate-free shampoos or co-washing (using conditioner to wash your scalp—it works!). You can also try exploring how often cleansing your scalp works for you as well. Paula, for example, does an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse once a week to cleanse her scalp, while Charl, a marketing director, shampoos every day but doubles up on conditioner or a treatment to restore moisture. “I use a clarifying shampoo once in a while to remove build-up and a purple shampoo once every two weeks with masks/treatments,” she adds.
Aside from shampoo, there are a few surprising things that cause dryness. Regular terry towels and hairdryers can dry out hair, so squeeze out water from your hair with a microfiber towel or an old t-shirt instead. Brushing out your hair can break up curls and cause static (and frizz!) between strands. Cotton pillowcases may cause friction and frizz (again!) as your head moves around during the night. Switching to a satin pillowcase or tying a silk or satin scarf around your hair may help.
SULFATE-FREE SHAMPOO
CLEANSER
RULE NUMBER TWO: Condition, condition, condition.
Conditioner is probably the most important product in your routine. It cannot be overstated that hydration is the key to healthy, happy curls, so curly girls must allow their hair to absorb all the moisture it can from a conditioner. One of the most popular methods is the “squish to condish” technique. Instead of simply applying conditioner to your hair, you scrunch or squish the conditioner at the bottom of your hair to encourage curl clumps to form naturally, as well as help the conditioner penetrate the hair shaft and the cuticle for full hydration. Some girls also like using the bowl method, wherein they dip their hair into a bowl filled with water and scrunch the conditioner or styling product upwards, then repeat it a few times until their curls are well-defined.
While most conditioners will work, girls who follow the CGM look for silicone-free conditioners. Silicones are synthetic polymers that provide shine and lubrication, sealing in moisture and providing a silky texture in beauty products. One of the most popular ones is dimethicone. An easy way to identify them in the ingredient list is by looking for words that end in –cone, –conol, –silane or –siloxane. Unfortunately, most of them are not water soluble, making them prone to leaving build-up and often weighing down curls.
Aside from conditioners, deep treatments or intensive masks at least once a week often complement your routine and help add even more of that desired moisture. “Long-term hair health is key,” affirms Nikki. “A weekly mask helps so much in keeping your curls in shape.”
SILICONE-FREE CONDITIONER
TREATMENT
HAIR MASK
RULE NUMBER THREE: Know your curl.
Not all curls are the same. Knowing what hair type is one of the most important pieces of knowledge you will need to customize your own care.
The most popular classification was pioneered by celebrity stylist Andre Walker in the 1990s, sharing how curls fall into 3 categories: wavy (Type 2), curly (Type 3), or kinky/coily (Type 4). (For anyone wondering—Type 1 is straight hair.) Over time, an additional letter classification was added to specify the tightness of the curl.
Understanding your hair type helps narrow down what your hair needs, especially when it comes to choosing products for styling. With looser, softer curls, Type 2s may need more gel-like products to help encourage definition. Meanwhile, Type 4s may need to focus on moisture—a lot of it—as their tight curls are usually the driest of the bunch.
You can also benefit from studying other aspects of your hair, like porosity (how easily it takes on moisture), elasticity (how much your curls keep in place), or thickness and texture. For example, people with thinner hair may want to stick to lightweight styling products like mousse, while thicker, more textured strands can handle heavier creams. With enough trial and observation, you will get a better sense of what works best with your hair.
HAIR MASK
STYLING CREAM
THE ULTIMATE RULE: Own your own routine.
There seems to be a lot of rules and unfamiliar terms we encounter in curly girl routines, and to many girls who want to start wearing their hair curly, the whole world seems very scary and discouraging.
Recently, CGM founder Lorraine Massey shared how she thinks some routines, especially the ones that take multiple hours and use an entire drugstore of products, can be a bit too much. “It’s beautiful, as long as you’re happy,” she said in an interview in Cosmopolitan UK in 2023. “But I watch the techniques and they’re so unbelievably complicated.” She advocates simplicity in your routine, and discourages doing too much to your hair.
If you talk to curly girls, every one of them will have different answers as to how they take care of their hair—how often they shampoo, how they dry their hair, and if they follow CGM or not. But truly, the most important part is to find the routine that works for you and your lifestyle, and what you can do consistently. No two curls are alike, so no routines will be alike either, so perhaps the most essential tip for is to enjoy the process of finding the regimen and products for you. After years of trying to eliminate our curls, we all deserve the opportunity to find our own way of loving and celebrating our waves and curls.
