Menopause, a natural phase in a woman’s life, marks the end of her reproductive years and brings with it a myriad of physical, emotional, and hormonal changes. Often considered a bittersweet transition, menopause comes with its own set of perks and perils, creating a unique journey for each woman. While some women embrace the freedom from monthly cycles and the prospect of no more pregnancies, others grapple with the challenges of hot flashes, mood swings, and potential health risks. Here, we delve into the multifaceted aspects of menopause, exploring the advantages and disadvantages that accompany this transformative period in a woman’s life.
Weight gain
Many of us have heard it before. There is that unsolicited remark when you’ve put on unwanted weight. “Oh, hello! How have you been? It looks like you gained some weight—I almost couldn’t recognize you!” Often preceded by that second glance with a surprised expression, such an encounter is usually unpleasant unless devoid of malice.
In my case, for example, a similar reaction was hilarious as it came from a conscientious local government worker who could have been a caring volunteer. It was mid-2021 and the government had begun its rollout of COVID vaccines. Unlike my brother who breezed through the interview process, I somehow got stuck at the desk of a rather confused gentleman whom I had given my passport to. He studied the information page with my photo, asked that I briefly remove my face mask and shield, and then looked even more puzzled. For a while I thought my passport had expired then I remembered it was good for five years and that it was renewed in 2019.
The man stood up and huddled with a few others at the opposite end of the basketball court. After about five minutes, he returned to his chair. As he handed me back my passport and a clearance form, he said rather conclusively “Okay, ma’am, I guess the pandemic really caused us all of us to gain a little weight.”
I wish I could have blamed the weight gain on just the variants of ube pandesal coming from different home kitchens. That challenging period however was also around the time my body’s period stopped. I was (and still believe I am) in menopause.
On the ride home through the almost empty streets of Manila, I found myself still laughing. My weight gain had rendered me unrecognizable. But, how could I be mad? This time the comment came from a person just doing his job with a statement not at all spontaneous. It however affirmed my body’s horizontal growth.
I wish I could have blamed the weight gain on just the variants of ube pandesal coming from different home kitchens. That challenging period, however, was also around the time my period stopped. I was (and still believe I am) in menopause—the natural biological process that marks the close of one’s menstrual cycle and with it, the end of ovarian estrogen production. The onset of this life phase usually begins at the age of 40 to 55, though some experience it earlier. Technically speaking, one should have gone 12 months without menstruation to be officially in menopause.
The transition into menopause is referred to as the perimenopause stage when symptoms, mainly caused by the lowering of estrogen levels, may begin to show. There are many common physical, mental, and emotional signs, and the experiences may vary from person to person. I will speak of the five symptoms that affected me the most:
Irregularities in menstrual cycle
I first noticed this at 43 when my periods became shorter. It started lasting for just three days—the promised duration you wished for when you were younger. After some time, they got even shorter and then I started skipping months. After over a year, I noticed a change in my mental habits; something gradually became absent. It was that monthly moment when you stay away from white, when you avoid scheduling important events on certain dates when you get anxious about a beach trip, when you practice telling (truthfully or not) someone you can’t make it to an occasion because of stomach cramps. Yes, the period was gone. In my case, I had not fully noticed until I was months into that phase.
I do not speak for everyone but to me, this was a pleasant experience comparable to the gradual removal of errands after an efficient personal assistant has been hired. There were just less things to think about.
The hot flashes
I’ve been relatively lucky with this one. It’s just that my favorite beverage, long black coffee, and its runner-up, red wine, have become less desirable. Caffeine and alcohol often stimulate body heat that in turn, creates beads of sweat around my upper lip, my hairline, and behind my ears.
Some experiences are much worse though. A friend who lives in Paris once told me that even during winter months, she would wake up perspiring and would have to move to another bed. She could not sleep under any blanket let alone the woolen comforter she shared with her husband.
Changes in the skin and a double chin
According to the American Academy of Dermatology Association, a woman going through the first few years of menopause loses about 30 percent of skin collagen. This leads to changes particularly visible on one’s face. The lack of collagen allows the skin to sag in areas like the eyelids, and, in my case, the jowls—that fleshy part under your chin. The formation of prominent jowls and other forms of drooping skin will occur even in the absence of weight fluctuation. Weight gain (symptom number 4) however, made my jowls distinctly thicker allowing for the obvious appearance of a double chin.
Should you find yourself comparing unfiltered photos from a few years back to those taken at present, you might notice the unwelcome change. I was dismayed when I recently got my NBI clearance (photos are taken onsite and you may not have time to go to the parlor) and compared it to the one I had gotten in 2018. Yes, I once again seemed unrecognizable because of the thick jowls that grew in the last five years.
Of course, there are ways to combat this. You may follow facial exercises on YouTube, do acupuncture, do facial massages, have surgery like a neck lift, or have less invasive skin tightening treatments like radio frequency (RF). According to Loudette Tanjuatco, a partner at the recently opened Classica Aesthetica in Salcedo Village, “many in their 40s or 50s go to the clinic for Exilift. I notice that after the procedure, our clients get that fresh look and a seemingly slimmer face without any downtime.”
My gym instructor, Wawa Feliciano, has trained many women of various ages. She observed that women during menopause gain 12 pounds on average. “Weight gain can be caused by hormonal changes and by the slowing of metabolism,” she explains. The lowering of estrogen causes the storage of fat particularly in the belly and hips. Relatively fit women may be toned in their arms and legs, but still have widening bellies at this stage.
Loss of estrogen also contributes to the loss of muscle mass. After a certain age, women lose half a pound of muscle a year, which leads to the slowing of their metabolism. “It is then important that, apart from cardiovascular exercises, one does weight/resistance training to gain muscle mass and increase metabolic rate,” Wawa advises.
Fatigue
This may be the most frustrating of all symptoms. It slowly dawned on me that you simply can’t keep the busy schedule you followed during your 20s. Fatigue is related to the change in hormonal levels, and is further influenced by other symptoms including night sweats and bodily changes like weight gain.
I recall that as a young adult, some mid-December days were composed of school or work hours, followed by a quick trip to the salon, a dinner with friends, a long nightcap at a club, Misa de Gallo, and a drive-thru breakfast.
By December 2022, it was a completely different story. Since I was aware of lowered energy levels in my 50s, I carefully planned my days making sure I got ample rest in between. Yet after two consecutive evenings of must-go affairs (my daughter’s first face-to-face get-together with her best friend since March 2020 and my dad’s 85th birthday), I found myself in a drugstore purchasing Alaxan and Salonpas. Though the events ended by 10 p.m., and I got eight hours of sleep, I still felt really tired.
Despite the inconvenience, I feel menopause is but another stage in life. As with earlier times, changes may be scary but they also offer new roles to fulfill.
These round up my top five symptoms of the perimenopause and menopause stages. Since each woman’s experience is different, it is always best to consult a doctor if anything noticeable bothers you. You may start with a general practitioner or an OB gynecologist who can refer you to a cardiologist, an endocrinologist, a psychiatrist, a dietician, a dermatologist, or another type of doctor depending on your needs. Some of my contemporaries have done hormone replacement therapy, under the guidance of a physician, and it has helped them tremendously. As mentioned earlier, you can also defy gravity by doing resistance exercises, surgery, or treatments ranging from cleansing facials to Botox. The important thing is to feel good and not allow symptoms to hamper your quality of life.
Despite the inconvenience, I feel menopause is but another stage in life. As with earlier times, changes may be scary but they also offer new roles to fulfill. Perhaps, we just need to pause and wait for the unknown excitement that lies ahead. People may not recognize me if they compare government ID photos, but the signatures and fingerprints show I am the same person, perhaps just a little fleshier.
At a restobar, I was wearing gartered black pants and sneakers. No other style of pants fits for now. I still need to lose 20 pounds. I need to also do resistance exercises, strengthen my lower body, and then attempt to wear heels again.
As we now go through 2023, the streets are no longer empty, and new establishments have gradually opened. Last summer, my friend Rosan and I dined at a new restobar. Rosan, who is a few years younger, has always been physically active. Because of diving, swimming, and yoga, she is fit, having no obvious widening in the hips or the belly. As the evening rolled on, I noticed a gentleman at another table staring at her. After a few more cocktails, he approached our table. We found out he was Spanish and that he worked at a multinational company. They exchanged numbers, and I was thrilled! Not since Giraffe was the newest spot in Makati did I experience that sudden excitement upon meeting someone at a bar.
Unlike before though, I did not mind being the wing woman. My younger self would have competed for Mr. Spanish’s attention. This time I was more relaxed, but still enjoyed the music and the wine. I was wearing gartered black pants and sneakers. No other style of pants fits for now. I still need to lose 20 pounds. I need to also do resistance exercises, strengthen my lower body, and then attempt to wear heels again. But, as far as being attractive in a bar goes, I just have to remain content with my batting average in the 90s.
I now have new shoes to fill; being a wing woman or a supporting friend is just one of them. I happily look forward to my next act.
