For many women, entering their 40s feels like a downturn: energy drops, stubborn weight gain, and mood changes appear unexpectedly. Suddenly, you feel invisible—reduced to just “middle-aged.” But what if this phase is about gaining, not losing, control?
This is the perspective offered by holistic wellness advocate Marilen Gonzalez Elizalde, also a certified Ashtanga yoga instructor and certified “Fast Like a Girl” lifestyle coach trained under Dr. Mindy Pelz, a leading voice in women’s health, hormones, and aging. Through her work, Marilen educates women on understanding how their bodies function from the inside out and empowers them through sustainable, individualized routines that support lifelong health and vitality.
She emphasized this during her talk at Rise, Reset, Renew, a Peri/Menopause Forum organized by The Beauty Edit for EO Philippines (Entrepreneurs’ Organization), where she posed a powerful challenge: to discover your superpower and unlock your potential at every stage of life—especially through perimenopause—by embracing change with confidence and joy.
“It’s about consciously creating a life that supports your energy, honors your biology, and allows you to become the strongest, most vibrant version of yourself,” she explains. “That’s what thriving is. It’s not about fitting into the world you’re handed.”
But how do you do that when what you’re feeling is the opposite of thriving? It starts with understanding your body—and the changes happening within it.
The Hormones To Know and Understand
For generations, women have been conditioned to push through exhaustion, override stress, and stick to routines that ignore the body’s signals. But thriving in midlife calls for a different approach—and it begins with alignment. It means learning how your body works and choosing to work with it, not against it.
We often blame hormones for everything—from mood swings and breakouts to weight gain. But they are, in fact, the body’s internal communication system—our allies, not our enemies.
“Hormones are chemical messengers that travel through our bloodstream to organs and tissues,” Marilen explains. “They control many bodily functions, including growth, metabolism, reproduction—and most importantly for us, mood.”
While the body produces over 50 hormones, understanding a few key players can dramatically shift how women experience perimenopause.
Oxytocin
Often called the “feel-good hormone,” oxytocin plays a vital role in emotional well-being and connection. “It’s our favorite hormone,” Marilen says—understandably so. However, levels tend to decline during perimenopause and menopause. The good news? “We can help increase these levels through our diet and lifestyle,” she notes.
Connection is key. Spending time with friends, nurturing relationships, and even bonding with pets can help boost oxytocin levels. As Marilen puts it: If you’re feeling low, call a friend, step outside, or simply engage with the world around you. Connection isn’t a luxury—it’s a biological need.
Unlike reproductive hormones, oxytocin isn’t tied to a specific phase of the menstrual cycle—it’s released in response to moments of connection, touch, and emotional safety, whenever they occur.
Cortisol
Known as the “stress hormone,” cortisol can be more disruptive than many realize. “Cortisol is also the enemy of weight loss,” she explains, noting that even with strict diets and intense workouts, progress can stall when stress levels are high.
That said, cortisol isn’t inherently bad—it plays essential roles in energy and metabolism.
Her advice is simple: “Anytime stress happens, my recommendation is to move.” Not to push harder, but to shift your energy—through walking, pausing, or stepping away. Managing cortisol isn’t about doing more, but about responding to stress more intentionally.
Cortisol follows a daily rhythm rather than a monthly one—typically peaking in the early morning to help you wake up, then gradually declining throughout the day. Chronic stress, however, can keep levels elevated beyond this natural cycle.
Insulin
Insulin governs how the body stores and uses energy. “Insulin and glucose are buddies; they’re best friends,” Marilen says. But when blood sugar spikes too often, excess glucose gets stored as fat.
For many women in midlife, this helps explain why weight gain—particularly around the abdomen—can feel sudden and resistant to change. It’s not simply about eating less, but about stabilizing blood sugar and supporting metabolic balance.
Insulin isn’t cyclical in the same way as reproductive hormones—it responds directly to when and what you eat. However, its sensitivity can shift across the menstrual cycle, with some women experiencing slightly higher insulin resistance in the luteal phase (the second half of the cycle).
“I liken estrogen and progesterone to twin sisters. Estrogen is the extrovert, and progesterone is the introvert.”—Marilen Gonzalez Elizalde
Estrogen and Progesterone
Estrogen and progesterone are the primary female sex hormones that regulate the menstrual cycle. Estrogen rises leading up to ovulation, influencing energy, motivation, and sociability. Progesterone, which dominates after ovulation, supports rest, recovery, and emotional regulation.
“I liken estrogen and progesterone to twin sisters,” Marilen shares. “Estrogen is the extrovert, and progesterone is the introvert.”
Estrogen builds during the first half of the cycle (the follicular phase) and peaks just before ovulation—this is when many women feel their most energized, social, and mentally sharp. Progesterone rises in the second half (the luteal phase), after ovulation, bringing a natural shift toward slower energy, introspection, and a greater need for rest.
Estrogen drives outward energy—productivity, social engagement, and momentum. Progesterone, on the other hand, encourages slowing down: “She’s the one who says, ‘Girl, let’s stay home and watch Netflix.’” These natural shifts play a significant role in mood and behavior throughout the cycle. Instead of resisting them, Marilen encourages women to honor these rhythms, aligning their schedules and activities accordingly.
Testosterone
Often overlooked in women’s health, testosterone also plays an important role. It peaks around ovulation, bringing a boost in libido, energy, and motivation. “Testosterone can give women the drive to work out,” Marilen says.
This surge typically happens in a short window—around three to five days leading up to and including ovulation—creating a natural high-energy phase.
This creates natural windows of heightened focus and productivity—ideal for tackling more demanding tasks or making important decisions. Understanding these patterns allows women to work more intuitively, instead of forcing consistency where it doesn’t naturally exist.
To make sense of these shifts, it helps to understand the rhythm they follow. A typical menstrual cycle is about 28 days, though anything from 21 to 35 days can be normal. Day 1 begins on the first day of your period—not when it ends. From there, the cycle moves through phases: the follicular phase (your period through the days leading up to ovulation), ovulation itself (around the midpoint), and the luteal phase (the two weeks after). Each phase brings its own hormonal landscape—and with it, shifts in energy, mood, and how your body feels. Knowing where you are in your cycle is often the first step to working with it.
The 3 Ps In Women’s Lives
To better understand how to support the body, Marilen zooms out—drawing not just from modern science, but from history. Long before food delivery apps and convenience culture, survival depended on natural rhythms. “We’ve forgotten this,” she says. “Because if we’re hungry, we’ll just call for pizza.”
This disconnect helps explain why practices like fasting can be powerful—they’re not new, but rooted in how humans once lived.
She introduces a framework she learned through her studies, particularly from neuroscientist Dr. Lisa Mosconi: the three major stages of a woman’s life.
Puberty: The First Shift
The first stage is puberty—the beginning of the hormonal journey. “This is the time when we’re about 11 to 13 years old when we get our periods,” Marilen explains. “What we are not taught here is that this is actually the time when our ovaries and our brain begin to sync. Meaning, every time we cycle, our brain micro-cycles.”
This is why adolescence feels so intense. “The emotions go haywire. But it’s normal,” she says. “Because our neurochemicals… our brain, all of a sudden, just shifts.”
Pregnancy: The “Tornado” Phase
The second stage is pregnancy—a major physical and neurological shift. “Again, our brain’s micro cycle… it starts to shed all the things we no longer need,” she explains. “What’s often dismissed as ‘mom brain’ is deeply biological,” she explains. “Our brains are going through tsunamis, trying to adjust to a new system.”
Postpartum changes, she emphasizes, are real and deserve to be honored—not dismissed.
Perimenopause and Menopause: The Transition
The third stage—perimenopause to menopause—is often the most misunderstood. “The ovaries are beginning to say, ‘Girl, I’ve done my job. Time to go,’” Marilen says. It can last 8 to 10 years, bringing symptoms like brain fog, anxiety, and sleep issues—yet it’s rarely acknowledged as a transformative phase.
Rather than a decline, she reframes it: “You’re not losing your mind—you’re losing your hormones.”
Metabolic Switching in Midlife
At the core of Marilen’s approach is a concept many women have never been taught: metabolic switching.
The body runs on two energy systems—burning sugar or burning fat—and most of us rarely switch between the two. “We have to learn how to switch,” she explains.
Because we eat frequently throughout the day, the body stays in sugar-burning mode. But fat burning only begins when we give the body enough time without food. “So, you ask, when does your body switch to fat burning?” After around 13 hours, says Marilen. This can also vary from person to person, with research claiming it can be anytime around 12 to 18 hours after the last meal, once glycogen stores are depleted.
This is where intermittent fasting comes in—not as a trend, but as a tool. Even something as simple as delaying breakfast for an hour or two can activate this shift. So if, say, you finish eating dinner by 7 P.M., you can schedule your breakfast the next day at 8 A.M.—so you can complete the 13-hour fast. “This allows your system and your gut a reset of 13 hours,” says Marilen. Sounds very doable, right?
For many women, especially in midlife, this shift can be transformative. “The fat stored here [in the belly], it’s going to stay stored unless you know how to switch from sugar to fat burning,” she says, adding that metabolic switching is often the “missing key” for women who want to lose weight.
But the benefits go beyond shedding pounds. “Fasting isn’t just for weight loss — there are many other benefits to it,” Marilen reminds us. Different fasting windows unlock different functions in the body:
- Intermittent Fasting (13–15 hours): Daily metabolic switch, increased focus, energy, and fat burning.
- Autophagy Fasting (17 hours): “Autophagy” is the body’s cellular cleaning process. Benefits include reduced inflammation, improved immune function, and cancer prevention.
- Gut Reset (24 hours): Gives the digestive system a full break, microbiome balancing (for gut health), and autoimmune healing.
- Fat Burner Fast (36 hours): Deeper fat-burning state, system reset, detoxification, antiaging.
- Dopamine Reset (48 hours): Resets reward pathways, helps reduce cravings, and improves discipline.
- Immune Reset (72 hours): Extended fast for immune system support and cellular repair (for advanced practice).
A note of caution, though: “Don’t jump into long fasts right away—you need to build up to it,” says Marilen. Moreover, the longer windows—particularly the 48- and 72-hour fasts—are based on emerging and preliminary research, and should only be attempted occasionally and ideally with medical guidance.
Fasting, But Make It Female
Still, one of the biggest misconceptions is that fasting works the same way for everyone. It doesn’t—especially for women. “Men have a 24-hour cycle,” Marilen says. “Can you guess how many hours a woman’s cycle is? 28 days.”
This difference is crucial. Women’s bodies operate on a longer hormonal rhythm, which means fasting needs to be flexible and cyclical—not rigid. “For women, you cannot fast the same fast every day,” she emphasizes. “If we do the same thing, we’re just going to stagnate.”
Instead of a fixed routine, fasting should shift with the body. For women with a regular cycle, that means easing off the week before your period. “If you have a regular cycle, do not fast the week before your period.” This is a time when the body needs more nourishment, not restriction. “And then day 20 to bleed, chill… have carbs, good carbs during this time.”
For those in perimenopause or menopause, the principle remains the same: build in variation. “If you do not have a cycle, you have to step out of fasting at least once or twice a week.”
Just as important as fasting is knowing when to stop. Strategic “feasting” days—where you eat more and more freely—help prevent the body from adapting too much or slowing down. “Your body realizes, ‘Ah, okay, she’s changing.’”
Without this variation, progress can plateau. “If you break it and feed your body good food, then it actually works better.” Marilen practices this herself. “My feasting day is Saturdays. I have three meals a day… and I enjoy a glass of wine or two.”Because ultimately, sustainability matters. “We have to live, we have to enjoy.”
Beyond the Physical: A Holistic Shift
Beyond fasting, Marilen encourages women to build something more powerful than any single habit: a personal ecosystem of support. She calls it your “Darna Kit”—not a physical toolkit, but an intentional arsenal of practices that sustain you across every dimension of your life—inspired by the Filipino comic superheroine Darna, of course.
It’s not just about food or movement. It’s how you think, rest, manage stress, nurture relationships, and speak to yourself. Your Darna Kit might include strength training and whole foods—but also boundaries, stillness, community, and self-compassion. It’s physical, mental, emotional, and deeply personal.
“We need to stop the rushing woman,” Marilen says. “Pause, honor ourselves, and realize: me first, now.”
This isn’t indulgence; it’s sustainability. Because midlife calls for a different kind of strength: not pushing harder, but caring for yourself more intentionally. Thriving in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond isn’t about doing more—it’s about having the right tools and building a life that truly supports you.
To know more about Marilen’s wellness approach and programs, follow her on Instagram @marilengelizalde or email her at elizaldemarilen@gmail.com.
Quotes have been edited for brevity and clarity.
